Brown-Eye of the Beholder

The back-story here is that this site (  which shall not physically be linked because of its sheer retarditude – was actually dropping members because they put on holiday weight… The members booted were in the thousands. To me – that’s ridiculous unless their weight was in the form of a face that started growing out of their stomach or something of that nature. At what weight (by their example) does one cease to be beautiful and makes the transition to fuggo? I think I’d like to know. What they have assured me of is that I have no interest in ever viewing this site… Not that I ever would ANYWAY – but still and all… no fatties – no me.

And that’s the one thing that truly baffles me is the exclusionary nature of these dating sites. I want to know what other criteria they have for their membership. Do they allow gays? What kind of hobbies can you get away with? If I were a sexy beast and enjoyed long walks on the beach, moonlit serenades, and lighting the elderly on fire – would I still be considered for a profile? I mean, look at American Psycho. That Christian Bale was one… dare I say… beautiful individual? So, can I be a serial killer and be on the site, whilst the chunky go wanting?

It leads you to a lot of thoughts… Like the “bear” community. I’ve heard great deals about sites which evaluate your bearishness and will allow/deny you membership, regardless of your interests, if you don’t fit “the mold”. A friend of mine stated recently that bears have really become the trendy “hipster douchebags” in many respects… and on some level, its true… Not everyone, mind you – but there will always be those folks who treat their subculture as an exclusive club that requires a paid membership and physical pre-requisites in appearance to enter. “No body hair? May as well have a vagina! *boot to the curb*” Lucky for me, I’m a hairy bastard.

I do love the bear and chub communities in most respects – for more than just their offerings of eye-candy. I wish that more things in this world were Bear/Chub based, and not just “gay” as the catchall for stereotypical hottie profiling. I have no desire to go to most gay bars, because really – what do I get out of it? Bad music and the possible interest from folks I’m not interested in… I could get that at a straight bar where they’re playing country music and some drunk cougars are on the prowl. Thanks, but no thanks… Though either way – I do admit, I just can’t say no to a free drink.

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Discussion (7) ¬

  1. MarcFrey

    Haha! I read about the beautifulpeople site earlier today! Made me laugh bad.

    As a chaser, I was actually thinking of joining, simply to tell them all I found them ass ugly…
    Buuttt, as a lazy ass guy, I decided not to bother with it =D

    Keep them coming!


  2. Alex

    I’m with you there – I don’t go to “normal” gay bars. What’s the point? They’re going to snark at me for being short, chubby, and hairy – and most of them are not ATTRACTIVE to me (doesn’t mean I won’t be friends with them – but honestly: does anyone go to a bar, single, hoping to BEFRIEND anyone? Pshaw.)

    Anyhoo – the Paris Hilton skin thing? Silence/Lambs came up in dinner conversation last night for JUST THIS SCENE. Haw!

  3. Mike Z

    Yea!! for drunk cougars :)

    Oh and the comic was good too.

    Did you like the picture/link I left for you on FB?

  4. Head Artist

    The link was good (as much as People of Walmart can be), but I like you’re own pictures more…

    And by “your own”, I mean the ones you’ve TAKEN, not OF you… Time to pull out some red-head shots…

  5. BigBellyMI

    I particularly liked the Christian Bale comment – pretty package outside does not mean pretty package inside. Of course, if people really understood this, the tabloids would run out of news regarding all the failed celebrity marriages… whatever would they print then?

  6. Glenn Lee

    Or combing your non existant long hair chanting “I’m a pretty girl”

  7. Travis

    How many times do I have to tell you to stop giving him ideas…Paris Hilton skin, sheesh!

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