As it would seem – there are many different definitions which we use to classify the subcategories of our culture. I have indeed been told that being a “bear” is more of a state of mind than actually reliant upon the volume of one’s body hair – which I think is quite honestly… well… I think the French call it “Le Bullshit”, but I could be wrong on that one. I mean, being a racist is a “state of mind”… You don’t have to be wearing a klansman outfit or have a swastika tattooed on your forehead to claim THAT one… though it does make it easier for me to run you over in my car if you DO commit to either of the above stereotypes…
Never-the-less, it seems as though the one thing that people can normally agree about is that an individual need be at least a certain hairiness level or beyond to be considered a bear… Now, to me – a bear has always been a butch, heavy-set (chunky, chubby, fat, stocky, etc…) hairy guy. For a lot of guys it would seem these days – well muscled men with rock hard abs and body hair are included in the “bear” header… which seems only to confuse the issue when you break it down to cubs, otters, etc… I mean, sure – “muscle-bear” could be the apt descriptor, but I’d almost prefer we just call the smaller/built guys BEHRs instead of BEARs. The spelling seems as though it would be enough that at least I would stop responding to the BEHR ads on Craigslist…
And on that note – some of the more recent postings have been amazing… It seems as though something so pure and innocent as Craigslist (*cough*) has been delving to the edge of madness. Every time I see a hot guy – I get to read a post about an hour later about how many STDs the original poster has. I don’t know whether to think that there are some bitchy twinks round these parts, pissed off at the bigger men for looking for sex or if what they’re posting is true… Not that I’m actively looking for sex partners by tapping my feet in the stall called Craig’s, but still – should I ever be one of those random, drunk “just home from the bar and looking for…” guys – I want to know if the goods are… well… good.
In other news – this signifies day 1 of going back on a diet. Shoot me right the fuck in the head – NOW. After only a day of deprivation, I’m already craving things just because I tell myself I can’t have them… It’s retarded. It’s as though if suddenly there were no women in the world – I would just find myself sitting there saying “damn, what I wouldn’t give for a vag”. I mean, I ASSUME that wouldn’t happen, but now I’m just not sure at all… I also made the mistake of telling myself I would only drink coffee in the evening and keep myself caffeine free for the rest of the day – which I’m pretty sure proves myself to be mentally handicapped…
So, of my vices – I’ve got caffeine, carbs, sugar, and porn. If I’m limiting the first three – help a brother out and shoot me some more of the latter… I’ve got to get through the first two weeks and then I’m golden… Grrr…
I’m all for labels being for jars and all, but sometimes we need to let these things stay as they are. What’s next? Straights who don’t conform to gender roles in bed calling themselves gay? *shudder*
Why do us fatties have to ruin everything? On that Note REPRESENTING BTL at OHAYOCON 2010 by blowing random guys and yelling BLUR THE LINES! When they shoot. FYI. Also referring the website,,,,but mostly blowing guys.
Don’t even get me started on that “kuma” off-shoot. Or anyone claiming to be “post”-bear.
Being a bear is now seen as “cool” because it’s something that was radical and alternative 20 or 30 years ago, which means that people who have no right forcibly including themselves in the “cool” social category change, dilute and misrepresent it enough to become a bastardised parody of itself.
Y’know, like modern day goths and emo kids.
Well I kinda agree with your thoughts, but there clearly IS a mind-set that sets bears out as bears, a refusal to tailor yourself to someone else’s opinion of what perceived ideal you need to conform to qualify as a bonafide gay man. I don’t HAVE to be smooth or try and change my body size or shape, unless it’s to please myself, rather than someone else.
It chaps my butt when I hear someone bear identified, like the otter of the cartoon, who hasn’t gotten it yet, that putting your expectations onto someone else isn’t OK. Sorta like our version of “Fat as a Feminist Issue”.
At least that’s how this bear sees it.
Oh, and I *love” your strip!
To pick up on grunter’s comment – my reaction to the “post-bear” twits is to say that “Post-bear is PREtentious!”
And to devolve the term “bear” to the point it could apply to anyone results in the word describing NOTHING and losing any meaning outside the discussion of the four-leggedy kind.
Since no-one else in the comments seems to be ‘going there’, I suppose I shall just chime in with the: ‘you must be at least this hairy to take this ride’ argument; to wit, who gets to decide what’s ‘hairy’?
I mean, I have friends who look like they’re wearing a sweater when they have their shirt off (which is cool, if hot). And then there’s me…swirly-furry big belly, hair around upper chest, beard, reasonably hairy arms – but I’m not wearing a hairshirt. Compared to most men in my family, I’m super-furry, because most of us can’t even grow a beard and have naturally hairless chests (we’re back to the ‘my father was the milkman’ argument again…
).
It’s like the reason I use the term ‘queer’ – to me, ‘gay’ means wanting to get married, have children, start kvetching about ‘those people’ moving into our neighbourhood (which could mean straights or, in the case of the nice little guppies in Vancouver in the 80s around the Expo, trying to kick prostitutes and the homeless out of a neighbourhood they were in FIRST…). To me, once ‘bear’ starts becoming a ‘hairier than thou’ thing, I’ll start to be post-bear.
Hmmm, this post has me torn. I agree with the cartoon but not really the post under it. Ok, obviously if some dude who isnt fat claims to be a bear and insults “fat” bears for ruining the bear culture, then yea, pound him into the bloody ground.
However, as far as the mind set thing goes, yes, one can be considered PART of the bear community and not actually BE a bear. If they THINK they are a bear, then say “well actually, maybe your more of a otter” for example. The bear community is a mindset that has its own superficial labels within.
And some hairy fat guy who tells others that they arnt bear enough and dont belong are just as bad as those twink/gym queens who do the same and should all slapped silly. Because the bear community’s point is to be all inclusive and brotherly and excepting for being true to yourself, and not someone else’s retarded standards.
@Lunar – I think the point is that even within the Bear community – there are going to be retarded standards.
Take my partner (not literally) – he’s a big guy who talks to a lot of dudes on gay.com who say they love bears… yet when he talks to them – he’s too fat, or not hairy enough, or… whatever you want to say. Retarded standards just tend to run rampant once it comes to interpretation of the unwritten “law”.
My concern would be for the definition of the terms… One can, indeed, be a PART of the bear community and not BE a bear… no one is saying anything different. But there are some folk out there who take horrible exception to being told they AREN’T a bear and “you’re actually more of an otter” receives the same response as telling a marine he looks like a drag queen.
“All-inclusive and brotherly and excepting” may be a core philosophy, but let’s look at some of the social networking sites out there for bears and see if they accept everyone who wants to be a part of the community… Now, granted, those are run by INDIVIDUALS who create their own set of standards – but that’s something that can prompt change.
I’d say in all, I’m like the conservative who doesn’t want to lose “family values”, but that may really be a moot point by now. The more that we slowly transition from heavyset and furry to oiled, muscled and MAYBE furry – the more that I become paranoid… Let them IN, but don’t let them redefine.
I’m just the overzealous purist who wants to keep his Bears pleasantly plump and fuzzy. Is that so wrong?
Unfortunately “bear” wasn’t defined properly when it first came out… so now it’s this loose term thrown around, and it’s now too late to actually try to redefine properly.
If you say a “bear” I believe you must usually be referring to someone hairy. Doesn’t have to be extremely hairy, and no size requirement or anything else. Just chest, and maybe facial hair. That tends to be the most common definition for it.
Overall I need to agree with Weaver here. “there clearly IS a mind-set that sets bears out as bears, a refusal to tailor yourself to someone else’s opinion of what perceived ideal you need to conform to qualify as a bonafide gay man”
I like to think the “Bear Community” simply includes all who have no interest in changing themselves to fit the stereotypical perception of the gay guy.
And well.. personally.. I don’t like the idea to be categorized with the “stereotypical gay” just because I’m not hairy… I was bashed too much by some for liking bears and man of bigger feature =/ That narrow-mindedness sort of destroyed any interest of being in the “twink community”.
@Weaver: “…but there clearly IS a mind-set that sets bears out as bears, a refusal to tailor yourself to someone else’s opinion of what perceived ideal you need to conform to qualify as a bonafide gay man.”
The name for that mindset is “nonconformity,” and it can be applied to more situations than just refusal to conform to the idea of what a gay man should look like. I stand by my agreement with the strip.
Honestly, as a heavyset hairy gay guy, I still have to agree with the skinny guy in the comic, at least a little… my recollection of the bear nation / bear pride identification thing a decade or two ago is a lot more heavily colored by the rejection of conformist ‘next gay thing’ than simply a ‘big hairy’ thing. I remember vividly the flamewars about the ‘takeover’ of the bear community by beefcake mags that were, oddly enough, turning the meaning of bear INTO the ‘next gay thing’
Now the twit then pulling out ‘fatties’ is definitely cause for the bloodstain on the collar.
Wow. You really opened up that can of dead horse to beat it into submission again. And man does dead horse stink once you start the flogging! IMHO I don’t give a rats ass who wants to call themselves bear, cub, otter, squirrel, marmoset or ring tailed lemur. When you think about it it is all just really silly. Just because a guy calls himsel bear isn’t going to make me any more or less attracted to him nor will it make me accept him as a friend any sooner than I would anyone else. At the same time I won’t presume to tell anyone what they can and cannot identify with any sooner than I would let them dictate their notions of societal standard on me. Yeah I travel in bear circles and it’s the (fractured) community that accepted me as I stepped from the closet but in my personal growth I have come to identify as Marvin first and foremost which I would consider, if I had to label it ( yeah I’m going there), Post-Bear. 17 years of this cycling debate has lead me to my belief. And that’s just my 2 cents. Not saying it’s right or it’s law just something to chew on and add to the dialogue. (is this where I should ‘woof’?)
(gets out bear handbook) No, Marvin, you should have woofed at the end of every sentence. Too bad, so bad – out you go.
I’m somehow reminded of the time I jokingly tried to start a ‘squirrel’ category, and there was this sudden earnest debate about what would constitute a ‘squirrel’. The only thing worse than no sense of humour is no sense of perspective.
This is the way I’ve always worked it.
A bear is (select at least two):
* Large Bodied (could be either Heavyset or Muscled)
* Hairy
* Bearded
Big hairy guy, clean shaven? Bear
Beard and fur, but slim? Bear
Bodybuilder with a beard? Bear
Fat guy without either much hair or beard? Not Bear
Otter, Wolf, Pocket Bear — variations on a theme. If you want to slice and dice the labelling, go for it.
“Behr”: when the Bear Code was put together 20+ years ago, this meant “Bear with a moustache but not a beard”. Still seems a useful variation on the theme.
@Tim: I hand a bear handbook once, but I ran out of toilet paper once and oh well.
It’s even more fun being a bear and having long hair. Mmmmm….ostracization…..
I can’t say enough about how I hate bear wanna-be’s. Number 1: If you’re smooth as a babys bottom or smooth as fucking silk, you’re not a bear.
great post as usual!
I am torn on this whole bear thing. I keep hearing that it is this gay subculture. In my mind I painted a picture that maybe this culture would be comprised of guys who did not shave their bodies and possibly acted a bit less flaming than the wafer twinks that I had been accustomed to, that seem to dominate our gay society. However, the reality has been that “bears” that are loud to self promote, are the same flaming queens that happen to be carb loaders or just old wafer twinks who learned to love a buffet and gave up the ghost. The same result more bitchy fags in a bar or standing in a group at an event. Just because you can grow a beard does not make you masculine. It is just another way playing the image game.
What is the point of a group that seems to be more cunty than the twinks? What is the point of a group that has been taken over by old bitter queens that have just said fuck to the world and their health and bring on the free buffet at the local 2 for one. Being a bear is not a license to be some queen lard ass with some weak ass beard, if that is the case, that is the weakest ass subculture I may have ever heard of to date.
A couple of things: there is no central committee to define this sort of thing, so all one has to do is float the notion and let things sort out by themselves; and its easy to get your feelings hurt by this sort of thing, so perhaps less discussion on this little issue is better than more . . .