So, the other night I saw a group of three skinheads walking down the street… Chatting and laughing (I assume they were telling racially charged jokes or discussing the intricacies of a curb-stomp) with their shaved heads, combat boots with red laces, suspenders, and one with a massive swastika on his coat… Seriously – I’m going to be honest here and say that if ever there was a group that made me want to throw down – it would be those fucks. But they taught me in school that in order to hate, I must first love… but I kind of think they mixed up being a Catholic with being a hippie on that one.
Curb-stomping, for the uninitiated who haven’t seen American History X, is when someone bites a CURB and another individual STOMPs down, crushing their skull (and their hopes to one day be in an Old Navy commercial… I’d imagine). It’s possibly one of the most disturbing scenes in a movie I’ve ever seen, right next to Kathy Bate’s nude scene in ‘About Schmidt’ (I didn’t see it, but I heard about it and I went mentally soft for about a week). But still and all – AMX was a film worth watching, so you too can see Ed Norton as what my boyfriend calls the “Hottest. Nazi. Ever.” getting ass-raped in a shower. That doesn’t hold a lot for me, but I don’t judge.
Speaking of ass-rape, I’m still going through mental anguish when it comes to this diet. I swear, last night I was confronted with a man’s ass-crack, and all I could think about when I look at it (with its dusting of dark hair) was cinnamon buns. What I wouldn’t give for one of those right now. But no, perseverance and whatnot. I have to lose the weight, so I can maintain my ‘chaser/otter’ physique – because then I’ll get better responses to those craigslist ads I put out there. Not that I actually put them out there with the intention to catch anything, but hey – if I can’t be kidnapped and ransomed to find out what I’m worth, I may as well gage it by the number of horny guys who take the time to go through CAPTCHA in order to send an email.
Regardless, I’m still trying to schedule the year out, and seeing as there is no way I’m making it to IBR – I have to logic out which gay events I’m going to travel to in order to semi-pimp the comic here and try to get out a bit more awareness. I figure there are two methods – glad-hand my homo-brethren or find a way to build controversy with a celebrity of some nature. So until you read my name in the tabloids – come and shake my hand!