Oh my god! Is that a poop joke? Hells yes, it is. Because I’m not “above” that, so let it never be said that Blur the Lines is just another high brow comic filled with ribald quips and anecdotes. Though, actually with the exception of the “high brow” part, I guess the rest of that may fit. Meh. Realistically, however – given my last blog and my commentary on my experience with the “Blazin” Hot Wings, this was an inevitable conclusion. Somewhere, there is a guy whose putting out ads looking for someone who wants to eat excessively spicy food and then get his jollies from some form of interaction with the aftermath. And that, my dear friends, makes me sad… and disturbed.
Not as disturbed as the trailer for “The Human Centipede” made me feel, however. And I was going to go into that here, but honestly? I don’t want to relive that. I’ll just put it this way: imagine being surgically forced to rim someone forever and over. Done. Dear god, I’m sick in my mouth again.
But on to better and brighter things – which given the previous topic, should be a hard transition – the winter seems to be losing the slow and painful battle to keep its grips on Michigan. It’s been like fucking Narnia out there up until recently. Some mornings you wake up, throw on some shorts, step outside, and immediately feel your testicles rubbing around near your belly-button, and you know that somewhere – there’s an Ice Queen mocking the forecaster who said it would be 70 and sunny. But now is the dawn of the sweaty fat-man days – and that brings a smile to my face.
In other news – I want the next episode of “Chubby Sucks Bear”… and now (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here). I now understand how the Lost junkies feel when they go months on end without a new show, and it’s only been a few days! I know that I’ll just be disappointed, however, if the ‘climax’ doesn’t involve a nice verbal, Canadian-accented explosion… Isn’t it strange how something as simple as a slight difference in speech can just really work for you? And you can’t really tell from grunts, groans, and slurping… it just takes a play-by-play to really work me up.
Hmm… Director’s cut porns with actor’s commentaries? It must be done…