So, this whole BP thing is a bad scene, no two words about it… Unless, apparently, those two words are ‘bad scene’ or ‘fucking terrible’, whichever way you want to say it. Personally, I love the crazy fucking shit that they’re trying to do in order to contain the leak. It’s like if you were shot in the head and you put a hat on in an effort to keep your brain contained, counting on the problem to resolve itself. Now, personally – I don’t have a concept or idea for a swift resolution, so I guess I have no right to speak. If it was fucking BODY OIL then we could just send a fleet of gay cruise-ships down there and the environmental disaster would be massaged/fucked away in no time… but it’s not.

Ah well.

Back to x-tube for a moment (as-in, I should go back to x-tube for a moment when I’m done with this blog) – I think that one of my guilty pleasures that I’m fully going to admit here is ‘hidden camera urinal’ videos. I know, I know – it’s pee, which is icky to some and sexy to others. Regardless of my own personal feelings on the matter, one thing remains true: it’s hot to see a dude’s dick. Sometimes, it’s more fun when they don’t KNOW you’re looking at their dick. And these videos give me the opportunity to take a good long stare at dudes who are tugging on their junk without a care in the world. You have to figure, the danger that’s involved in taping a dude at his most vulnerable (which I think we all consider ourselves when our fly is down and our cocks are resting between those steel teeth) is immeasurable. I mean, one panicked flourish and a guy could try to zip too quickly, and god forbid he damage his member, because all of that dick-pain is going into a firm beating on YOU.

This revelation is also the reason why I don’t use the urinal next to friends, especially ones who I find attractive… because if I know that the dick of someone I want to see is out and wagging next to me, I won’t be able to help but look. And as a courtesy, I give these individuals the privacy that they require. Because what if, people… What if I did see that perfect manhood attached to a buddy I’ve had for years? Let me tell you, what would happen would be uncontrollable. It would be one of those “retard strength” moments where I could overpower even the largest and manliest of men and suddenly, we’d be in a stall and they’d be weeping for the innocence they had suddenly lost as I swallowed them into the abyss here-by dubbed cock-sleeve (aka my mouth).

I think that’s enough dick talk for one day though…

Okay, who am I kidding, this is barely the tip of the proverbial iceberg in dick-a-phors for the day.