Skills to Pay the Bills

This is yet another in a long and unsavory list of stories based more on truth than I’d care to say. Many of the embellishments involve Drew actually getting TOGETHER with guys who turn out to be psychos, but realistically, most of them show themselves online prior to a “hookup” actually occurring. It seems a recent trend that if a guy says “I’ve never been with a fat guy before” on gay.com, it’s because he’s going to tell you the price-tag for hooking up with him shortly there-after. That’s followed at a close second by the guys who say they really only get hard when they do drugs first… Because nothing says “fuck me” like watching some dude get stoned off his ass and then eat all of the potato chips in your house.

I mean, hey – let’s not only give a guy my address so that he knows where I live, but also give him intimate access to the premises so that he can eye-up my valuables. Maybe we’ll have chatted about a kinky bondage scenario so he can tie me to the bedpost and loot every item with a ticket value greater than 10 bucks. At the end of the day, nothing gets ME hard like being robbed blind due to my own ignorance. Because being fucking stupid is sexy. Mmm…

Regardless, it never ceases to amaze me the length that people will go to not be called a prostitute. If you ask for 20 bucks for gas after a 3 mile drive? You’re a call-boy. You’re trying to create a situation that is far more glamorous (you being poor or assuming that gas is 15 bucks a gallon), but you’re failing miserably. When you say you’re looking for a blow and go – you should clarify if you’re looking for money to buy blow, and then you’ll go. How hard a system is that?

Regardless, the world keeps on turning and we gays keep on slutting and all is right as rain.

In other news – still, none of the summer Bear films have come to Detroit, as was expected. I anticipate I’m going to have to buy these buggers on DVD and watch them in the privacy of my own home, alone and hidden away from the outside world. My partner isn’t even likely to watch those buggers with me because… well… Logo already has all the programming with the smooth sweaty fuck-boys that he wants to watch, so he really gets nothing out of a Bear feature… But meh, I say.

Meh.

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Discussion (14) ¬

  1. GlennC

    Hey. Yummy front and back shots of Drew.

    Also: fun times in Vegas: http://luckybearweekend.com/

  2. Gary

    LOL…I have had online chats with those same losers! There are way more weird and lazy guys out there then I ever thought.
    Also sounds like I really need to add logo to my cable package?! (c:]

  3. Owen

    Oh my… the fanservice in this webcomic knows no bounds… *drool*

    Oh right, there was a joke; it was funny too.

  4. grunter

    So *that’s* why I have an almost perfect strike-out record with regard to hook-ups from online sites.

    The hard-and-fast rule for me is: I won’t meet them at my home. I’ll meet them at the baths, at a bar or someplace neutral – but if I don’t know the guy, he’s not invited to my house for the snoo-snoo. Never, ever (well, with the Gandolfini corollary in effect, as always, i.e., if he’s got that smoldering Italian Daddy “alpha male” mobster vibe, my holes are forfeit. I cannot tell a lie.)

  5. Marvin

    Yeah. I recently got disappointed myself by slacking on one of my own rules. No face pic, no hook up. Sometimes we need those horror hook ups to remind us rules are in place for a reason.

  6. Furmen Sakume

    There’s a lot of people on gay.com I wouldn’t hook up with for the life of me. If it’s a guy without a face pic, I tell him flat out “I have aids” just to get him to leave me alone. It’s when they don’t leave me alone after that or surprise surprise they say “I have aids too!” then they go on my block list and I cower in a corner, rocking myself to sleep.

  7. Sultmhoor

    You tell random people you have AIDS? Wow, insulting millions of people living with the disease is a really charming dating strategy.

  8. cmgirty

    I’m gonna have to agree with Sultmoor here. Thats pretty fucked. Aids and HIV are no joke, and I’m the king of “Thats fucked up” humor. However using AIDS as your way to avoid the simple conflict of “You dont have a face pic” is jacked.

  9. lilbearmi

    It is interesting how some people don’t get that once you ask for money, it’s pretty easy to tell what’s going on. (nor do they realize how small the bear community is when it comes to spreading the facts about such occurrences) There is a local guy on a certain 411 site that was chatting my partner up for quite a while, only to ask to bum some money before the hook up was scheduled. This same person hit up a Whobear friend of mine a few weeks later. Shame too, he represents himself pretty well on the site, or at least the pictures he posted do.

  10. Marvin

    @lilbearmi Break the code of silence! We want a screen name ;) you can spread it around that I ask for cookies, cheetoes twists and Sobe Tsunami as a retainer when I hook up.

  11. Scruff

    Damn, your drawing of Drew in this comic gives me an instant boner. Is it strange to want to stick my dick in a two-dimensional character?

  12. Gary

    Yeah, the HIV/AIDS avoidance tactic is in of itself beyond tacky?! Rather f*cked up actually. I have a long time friend who has been living with HIV + status for many years.

    Whatever happened to a simple “sorry but it will not work out for us, but good luck in your search”, is that so impossible to say to a stranger?! What happened to simple manners??? Here we are complaining about online assholes and yet it seems to be perpetuated by those complaining!

  13. Furmen Sakume

    @Gary: I mostly seem to attract the strange psychos online for some strange reason. When they don’t get the hint that I’d rather just be friends, they typically continue on their search to get into my pants (Don’t know why, I’m not that good looking honestly). It’s then I resort to stating I have shit trying to get them to take the hint that I just want to be friends. It’s just I always seem to have to resort to such tactics to the point that I’m highly considering just giving up on other guys entirely and make my end of my current relationship closed rather than open. My partner can sleep with whomever he wants still, I just don’t think I’ll continue on. Too many strange crazies out there.

  14. Travis

    We are the knights who say ‘Ni!’

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