So, it never ceases to amaze me how many times the catch always seems to come when my partner is telling me stories about conversations on gay.com. There is this amazing assumption that because he’s heavy and hairy – he’s desperate and in dire need to shell out the hard earned green for the opportunity to suck upon the heavenly body that is there well-toned, soulless self. The comedy to me is that usually when he says he’s in a relationship – they act as though he’s lying, because they’re fuck-witted egotists that need a solid dose of ass-kickery to get the gerbil out of the large intestine and back into their brain-wheel where it belongs. Man, if only there were a superhero out there who could stand up to… oh… right… more on that another day…
Back on topic and directed at the comic: in the videos – you see the ‘gay for pay’ guys getting busy and accepting the rectal-rockets as a necessity of the business, because apparently, we love to see guys who are outside their comfort zones… Realistically they go farther than the dudes who are just looking for ‘generous’ men, and will actually do the deed – which I give them an amazing amount of respect for. Offer me thousands of dollars and I might stick my wang into a female part – but I can assure you, I would need a big beefy fluffer and a mop and bucket for when my mental images of the Tough-Man competitions dropped out of my mind long enough for me to wrap my brain around destination of my man-seed.
I don’t need Tom-Tom to tell me I’m going the wrong way when my dick gets near a vag, the voice in my head would be shouting “in 3 inches, turn right… turn right… RIGHT! Where the fuck are you going?! Get out of there! I’m shutting the fuck off because you’re not even listening to me anymore. *bloop*” And that would be it. Sorry, friends – Kinsey had me pegged at a solid Fag, and nothing will ever change that. I think that it’s funny that when you think of a REALLY ‘gay’ guy, you tend to think flamboyancy. Yet, I am so disinterested by women, I have no desire to pick up any of their mannerisms, lest I suddenly lump myself in with them… Thusly, by not being flamboyant – I consider myself a far bigger homo.
Now if you’ll excu$e me – I have a $exy Craig$li$t ad to write.